


Get by.

by foxinschlox



Series: MikoTotsu Week 2014 [5]
Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Drinking to Cope, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 16:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2779256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxinschlox/pseuds/foxinschlox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for MikoTotsu Week. 12/4 : Comfort | Coping. Mikoto and Totsuka drinking together after the near fatal injury of one of their clansmen. [ He always saves room to get angrier at himself. There will always be another time ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get by.

One drink. Two drinks. Two and a half. They've been wrapped up in their own quiet world together since Totsuka's return from the hospital. By some off chance, though, he wasn't the one who had been admitted. One of their boys bit off more than he could chew in a fight, got caught off guard, lost too much blood. A casual reminder to their entire clan: you are not invincible.

"I can't even make them invincible."  
Mikoto is malt scotch, neat and down to the last. And he hates it as much as he hates himself but he'll knock it back 'till daylight if you let him.  
Totsuka is vodka tonic and steadier than usual. He's had to be for the past few hours, lingering beside a hospital bed with the rest of their makeshift family. Staying the latest to hear the verdict for everyone else. The slice of lime's drowning at the bottom of the glass.

“Are you going to let me tell you what the doctor said?”

Mikoto grunts his refusal.  
Keep quiet and drink. Those are the rules tonight. Good or bad news, he can't afford either.  
He just wants Totsuka's skinny shoulder to lean against and to let his mind run blank. Too bad. There's always somebody getting thrown under the bus for him. For no good reason.

“Then I won't tell you,” says Totsuka. “Give me your hand.”

“What for?” Mikoto's too rough in the way he asks the stupidest question.

“Because I need you to. It'll help me tell you something else.”  
Totsuka's eyes get watery after he rubs them. It's late. They're tired. The drinks are working on him too.

Mikoto shifts his weight, leans heavier.  
So maybe it's the realization of the brat's own exhaustion that begins to soften the Red King up more than the scotch. He lays his arm out palm side up on the bar.  
Totsuka places his own on top; his touch helps curl Mikoto's open palm into a fist.

“The hospital made me remember something from a long time ago...” he's just coherent enough to make the words come, “the first time I felt your hand it was just like this. It hurt, but it was what I wanted.”

Mikoto cringes.

“I got hurt a lot didn't I? But that was my choice. And even now sometimes it hurts. We still decide for ourselves.”

If only that were entirely true. There's that invisible pull which ties men to their Kings. All Mikoto knows is that their suffering is because of him.

He doesn't say he didn't want Totsuka to speak because Totsuka's voice slowly erases the guilt and consequence of everything from his mind. What did he do to deserve someone like that? Who came before the manifestation of his powers and before the invisible pull.  
Didn't he?

Totsuka knows he can't not tell him. No matter what he promised.  
“The doctor said he should be ok to release in a couple days. No more worries, King.”

Just like that. The weight lifts so fast it's like it was never there. Mikoto was beginning to enjoy having his muted emotions toyed with by his own request.

“So you're going to bed after this one.” Totsuka's palm presses into his own forehead. His other one blocks the glass from reaching Mikoto's lips again to get the point across.

“You're not the boss've me.”

“Ok.”

It actually makes him want to die whenever Totsuka says 'ok' like that and looks the other way and drums at the bar with his fingertips.  
It is ok for Mikoto to be dismissive. Not for him.  
Compromised balance tips him closer to his vassal. An extended silence does all the work of wrapping them up tighter together. 

King's breath is too strong.  
“Come to bed with me – I'll make you a deal”

Totsuka smiles, sloppy, warm, and almost sad where he can't see.  
Forget, forget, forget.


End file.
